Reflections 2009

Remember that song? By Diana Ross?

Through the mirror of my mind. . .
time after time. . .
I see reflections of you and me. . .
the way life used to be. . .

Reflections it's aptly titled.

When I was in middle school, there was a show on TV called China Beach. I only superficially understood the premise of the show - a Vietnam Hospital. But I'd watch it while I was doing homework and such because 1. Dana Delaney kicked ass and 2. The opening credits rolled to this song. . .

I still love that song.

I've never been too sentimental about the end of a calendar year. I've never been a slave to the calendar when I want to start something, change something, reflect. But the start of a new year is a nice tidy kick off.

It appears I have about 5 more minutes for reflection. I'm not going to do one of those "Top Ten" lists. I'm going to aspire to (barely) a little more. . .

I honestly can't remember last new year's eve aside from the fact that it was wicked windy. Lost power at work. . .fireworks were postponed. The year was filled with love and hope and friends and family. Work was tough but I enjoy a tremendous amount of camaraderie with my team and we took our lumps and toasted our victories. We welcomed Edison the cat in May. I got to drive one super-special Corvette in May. C and I had a blast this summer being tourists in our own hometown. We continued the misery err adventures in the fall culminating in one soggy stay in Cambridge and a December trip to Annapolis. Loved a lot. Lost a lot. Learned a lot. Looking forward to doing it bigger and better in 2010.

I'd love to have something more profound to say. Maybe I'm spent?

I'm not really one for making New Year's resolutions. I've got my reading list. I've got the on-going lifestyle challenge, I've got the fat since sperm hit egg slightly overweight continual battle. . .

As Buffett says, "Someday I will."

I have decided one thing: 2010 is going to be about passion and heart for me. I feel a renewed fire starting. I'm excited to read until my eyeballs fall out. . .And perhaps write too. . .and perhaps start a family. . .

As Buffett doesn't say, but I think it's implied: "Somedays" are limited. I don't dare wait. Passion should not be put on the back burner.

Buffett would also say, "I'll make my move on the big board game." I'm not sure what that move will be, but I'll do it with passion. . .likely calculated passion. . .but passion nonetheless.

Happy New Year. XOXO d

Sail on Sail on Sailors! (There might be a boat and a piano involved in my passionate plans. . .Oh boy!)

NYE Eats

C and I have a fantastic NYE tradition: we go nowhere, see no one, and do nearly nothing.

We've been doing this the majority of our nearly 10 NYEs together and I look forward to a quiet evening. The phone barely rings. I have no obligations but football and food the following day. . .We can be calm and reflect.

Well, as calm as I can endure. Steamed some cherrystone clams with a tomato sauce I learned from Dad. Made some coconut pecan muffins for champagne brunch tomorrow. Made a leek, potato, and feta tart. We'll have a few cocktails and snuggle in. I'll reflect on a year, a decade even.

Tomorrow? Champagne brunch followed by sauerkraut, perogies, faux sausages and faux hot dogs, beer and a sustained slight buzz. . .

Packing up and putting away the holiday cheer and looking forward. . .Setting goals, dreaming, doing. . .

Go PSU!!!!

Hmmmm

Headline at Baltimore Sun Online:

Police Urge Partyers to Celebrate Holiday Without Firing Guns

"It's still a Baltimore tradition, one that we have to deal with."

One more reason to stay home this evening. Yikes!

Everlasting Moon

Sooner or Later a deplorable pic of the moon will hopefully, likely pop up on this blog. . .from a few minutes ago, taken by my BlackBerry from my backyard. . .Maybe?

At any rate, the moon looks nearly full. . .The sky is just becoming overcast. . .

Buffett has a song (of course). . .And he seems to make a plea for kindness to our environment - before it was cool to be "green." "About what some people did to preserve the environment. . ."

Here are my fav parts. . .

The sky revealed the rumor
in a misty gray cocoon. . .
Some angry baby boomers
Stole the everlasting moon. . .

Hanging in the sky
The perfect alibi
Baby come outside with me
There's a moon you've got to see. . .

Light of love in each moonbeam
Wontcha step into my dream?
Everlasting moon. . .

Everlasting moon. . .

Whole of the moon. Third star to the right, straight ahead until morning. Indeed.

My First Wild Idea for 2010. . .

So it occurred to me the other day that my Father and I spent probably no fewer than 8 hours "together" each weekend. Some weekends that meant marathon phone calls, other times we were physically together. . .Or I was preparing to be physically together - collecting items, magazines, or baking things I wanted to take to him and my Mom and Sister. . .What will I do with all that "free" time?

Then it occurred to me how much he always loved to hear about what I was reading. And I love to read. And I do it voraciously. So what better thing to compose a reading list? After all, there are "classics" I've somehow missed reading and there are amazing new books I missed while I was reading Law all the weekend long. . .And new ones coming along all the time. . .

So today I started an ambitious list. . .Books for 2010. . Here's the list:

1. SuperFreakonomics
2. Pretty in Plaid
3. Rememberig Kent Island: Stories from the Chesapeake
4. Wicked
5. Maritime Annapolis
6. Maryland's Lower Susquehanna River Valley
7. Eat, Pray, Love
8. Gift from the Sea
9. An American Childhood
10. Bad Mother
11. Anna Karenina
12. The Crowning Glory of Calla Lily Ponder
13. Guts
14. The Late Lamented Molly Max
15. Big Russ and Me
16. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao
17. Mudbound
18. The Secret Life of Bees
19. Water for Elephants
20. Confessions of a Shopaholic
21. One Can Make a Difference
22. Have a Little Faith
23. Izzy and Lenore
24. Three Dogs of Bedlam Farm
25. Too Big to Fail
26. One Hundred Years of Silence
27. The Remains of the Day
28. The Unbearable Lightness of Being
29. Race Matters
30. Lolita
31. Cod: A biography of the fish that changed the world
32. Rising Tide: Great Mississippi Flood of 1927 and How it Changed America
33. The Dirt on Clean: An Unsanitized History
34. Empire of Blue Water: Captian Morgan's Great Pirate Army, the Epic Battle for the Americas and the Catastrophe that Ended the Outlaws Bloody Reign
35. Out Stealing Horses
36. Into the Porcupine Cave and Other Odysseys: Adventures of an Occassional Naturalist
37. Morgan: American Financier
38. Teh Catcher in the Rye
39. The Handmaid's Tale
40. To Kill a Mockingbird
41. Catch 22
42. On the Road
43. Gone with the Wind
44. One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest
45. To the Lighthouse
46. Murder on teh Orient Express
47. Arguing with Idiots
48. Churchill
49. Inside of a Dog
50. Another Bullshit Night in Suck City: A Memoir
51. The Bounty: The True Story of Muntiny on the Bounty
52. Mountains Beyond Mountains
53. Star of the Sea
54. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
55. The Pirate Hunter: the True Story of Captain Kidd
56. The Bontany of Desire: a Plant's Eye View of the World
57. Fast Food Nation
58. How to be Good
59. John Adams
60. Girl with a Pearl Earring

60 books in 365 days. . .Is my math possibly correct? I need to average a book about every 6 days? And I put Anna Karenina on the list? And biographies about Churchill and John Adams?!

On the upside, I guess the Lifestyle limited shopping challenge will continue. . .I won't have time to shop! And I might not have time to eat either. . .So maybe I'll finally lose some more weight.

Of course you, dear reader, can watch the entire trainwreck right here. . .I'm not great with writing book reviews but I'll do my best.

Small Seeds of Hope

Cold cold December day here. And as I trudged into the house, meeting C at the front door as he once again locked himself out. . .I plucked this little gem out of the mailbox.

The Burpee seed catalogue!!!!!

Hope for spring and renewal on a cold long evening!

The garden will be mapped out. . .the catalogue will get dog-earred. . .Seeds and Spring will arrive just as promised. . .

Life is beautiful. Sometimes you just have to look.

Um. . .Yeah. . .

C in Petsmart on his cell phone with d

C: So I'm getting dog food, kitty litter and. . .what the heck is this? Cat Milk?!

d: No way. Allister has to go one a diet anyway.

C: where does this come from? You don't think. . .

d: I know where you're going with this and I am absolutely certain they do NOT hook cats up to some kind of a breast pump or milking machine!

Fw: Lookin Out My Back Door

Glorious weather has followed a gloomy week. I didn't have the camera handy but got it on the Blackberry. It was too pretty to go undocumented.

Spent a good deal of time reflecting on nearly a years worth of blog posts.

First of all, I don't do a bad job conveying my thoughts in off the cuff remarks. Second, we had a beautiful year. Third, it was readily apparent that Dad was offering me hints from about March on, he must have felt not long for this world.

Maybe that's why I feel somehow so soon accepting of his passing? We somehow understood already?

Life is beautiful in its mystery indeed.

Test

Dealing with Loss

Anonymous left me a very considerate post suggesting strategies to aid in the grieving process. It's a thoughtful and useful post and please take a peek if you'd like.

I'm a pretty stoic and extremely strong willed individual. My incommunicado post might have been my broken heart talking; however, strong will and faith has thus far been "running the show."

I have not yet been unable or unwilling to get out of bed. I don't not feel angry, or depressed, or overly emotional. I have had moments of less than clear thinking. I couldn't seem to match up the socks in the laundry on Friday. That could have been egg-nog induced? I have had some trouble with food and sleep but slowly things are getting back to what we at homeeckwreck consider "normal."

I plan to work the rest of the week. I plan to live a life that honors my Father - all my parents. Rolling over and sniveling for too long would be disrespectful. If I'm tempted to do so, I clearly hear his voice in my head, "Take a deep breath. One foot in front of the other. Move forward. . ."

And so I will. Ever mindful that I have one brand new, phenomenal angel keeping a close watch.

This afternoon C is going to the movies with his brother. I hate movie theaters for some unknown reason and have opted to skip out. I'm going to write some thank you notes, get the house in order, make a grocery list. Get us ready for a new year. . . Which, I have little doubt, will be nearly as amazing as the first 33 I've experienced.

Life goes on.

And as I should have mentioned earlier, I do believe death is only permanent for the living. Sometime, in accordance with a plan I am not privy to and likely wouldn't understand if I was, we will meet again.

For right now, I have laundry to do and floors to sweep!

Yet Another Cat Post

Swear more substance soon. Lot going on. . .Hang in

Incommunicado

I realize our characteristic holiday madness has gone largely undocumented this past week. It's sad and unfortunate circumstances that have left me incommunicado: My Father passed away Saturday the 19th.

He did have some dislike for snow. . .and he did always desire to have all his friends and family with him for the holidays. . .And he was challenged by a progressive illness. . .And now he's at peace.

I'm preparing to write my final love letters to my Father this evening and figured a little blathering about grief might help get the ideas going. . .

First of all, for me grief seems a dream-like state. I know what the date is today because I was reminded it's Christmas Eve. The past 6 days have felt like one huge dream sequence in which I'm drifting between fond memories to near nightmare. At times, I function superbly and can focus and other times, I'm tired and worthless.

My appetite has suffered the worst. It's a hell of a way to diet. I'm eating but need reminded to do so on occasion. I haven't showered since Tuesday. Yet, the house is clean, arrangements for a proper wake have been made, gifts have been wrapped. . .Strange indeed this gut-wrenching, heart breaking grief.

The worst part by far is acknowledging it is permanent. I know my Father will be the toughest and most vigilant guardian angel ever. But I know my sadness for his physical absence will never entirely leave me. I'm not bitter, and I'm not regret full, and I relish the memories and legacy he's left. . .but there is a piece of me that will never be quite the same. Never. Permanently altered.

I'm a rather stubborn and tough individual. I have been working on my faith. I'm not one to lie catatonic paralyzed by grief. . .but in some small way, I'll be different. Perhaps it's that small little piece of my heart that will be forever broken?

Lazy! Lazy Lazy!

And allister is hogging the remote!

WTF?

Seems about right

C Yucks it Up Part V

Caption: Maybe I should go crap in that potted plant.
Which, thankfully, our cats do NOT do.

C's Big Day Off IV

Here C alters the captions for the plumper cats to make it look as if Allister is not a lard ass.

The overweight caption has been altered to New Ideal Body Weight.

C could work for ADM or something? He's a really good spin doctor!

Holiday Cheer

Things are starting to unravel a little here at HomeEckWreck. Just like every other year, I thought I had things under control and was well organized. And now with Christmas just about a week away, I'm feeling less than in control. It's not horrific. Just a little messy. Here's the to do:

1. Get slides scanned so this box can be returned. Pick up another.
2. Office Holiday Happy Hour.
3. Place bet on who will act like the biggest tool at the office holiday happy hour.
4. Make dishes for holiday pot luck
5. Shop for two difficult to buy for folks
6. Company Friday night (at least)
7. Visit local family
8. Look presentable 97% of the time. (That is a whole 'nother list)
9. Wrap gifts
10. Round up prostitutes and take them to the policeman's ball. (Joking. That was a line from one of C's video games years ago and I always think of it when I'm making a list).
11. Clean, clean, clean
12. The plants need watered
13. Enjoy myself if it KILLS me. hahaha!

As I said, this is manageable. But it doesn't leave much time for my most recent addiction: The Sony eReader. C is like the best husband EVER and he got me the eReader for Valentines Day (we think) last year. But at the time, I still had a lot of traditional books (i.e., paper) to read. I tucked the eReader away and on Monday finally picked it up again.

I can't tell you how much I love this thing. First of all, I downloaded 6 books (all pretty recently published) Monday evening with just a wee bit of help from C (technical and in the form of Mastercard). Some of the titles are 60% off the cost of the traditional book! Plus, if you have a library card, you can "borrow" books. I'm checking that out next time.

The first time download might have taken 20 minutes - including setting up an account and all that disclaimer junk. I took my little eReader to the spare room and didn't budge for hours. Possibly the best part? It has this amazing light "cover sheet" for reading in darker conditions. I can read at all hours of the night in bed 'cause the light doesn't bother C.

The first book I read cover to cover on the eReader was Beverly Hills Adjacent. After I finished it, I thought I didn't love it. And I still don't love it. However, I didn't exactly want to put it down either. It has some humor, a bit of a heated romance/love triangle. . .I think it's a great beach read. Maybe just a tad fluffier than I've been reading lately - so it was an adjustment for me? I wonder if it will end up a movie? It seems to me it could be the basis for a screenplay.

Next up? Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout. I'll keep you posted.

If you'll excuse me, the eReader looks lonely. . .

C's Big Day Off Part III

Cat drinking out of a "people" glass presumably containing milk. (Which btw, cats don't need. Stands to reason that's why Allister gets C's left over cereal milk several times a week)

Caption: I guess a bowl or saucer would be too fricken much to ask for. . .

C Yucks it Up II

Notice this cat on Page 2 looks a little like our orange tabbies Dexter and Edison.

Caption: Once their "little" fluffy guy is on the scale. I put my two paws up there and it's another 12 weeks of dieting for him.

C Yucks it Up on His Day Off

C was clearly quite productive on his day off. . .I arrive home to find this little gem waiting for me on the desk. Our cat Allister is now tipping the scales in excess of 17 pounds. The Vet is concerned and apparently gave us some literature regarding feline weight management.

C decided to make the reading a little more "interesting."

The caption on the cover? Please don't make me diet. I love you both so much.

That's right. . .yuck it up chuckles. Your "little" fluffy buddy might not be so snuggly when he's STARVING and CRANKY!!!!!

Happy Stinkin Holidays!

Where's that damned egg nog?!

Enough Already

Recipie tags for the muffin mixes. This like all my other projects has snnowballed out of control and is taking much longer than anticipated.

Holiday "Baking"

For several years, I've been getting the support staff at my office little holiday gifts. Sometimes wine or 6 packs. Sometimes different items for each individual. This year however, resources are not so vast. So everyone is going to get a muffin mix they can whip up whenever they like. It's prob a little lame compared to previous years but it's the thought that counts!

Philo-so-fizing. . .

Spoke to my Father last evening. He was describing a method of driving piles (I'm not even sure that is the correct spelling). . .He was describing a construction process whereby piers/posts are driven into the ground - into bedrock frequently. These posts are tasked with holding up the integrity of all the other infrastructure.

When we drive these posts into the ground, we need to know when we have driven the posts far "enough." How do we know when we hit far "enough"? Something on the driving mechanism "gives."

Hmmmm. . .The bedrock doesn't give, the post doesn't give. The driving mechanism gives.

(Please if this is inaccurate from an engineering standpoint, because I misunderstood Pops, do NOT correct me I'm working on something here. . .).

Something gives. And that something is the driving mechanism. That led my little brain into some kind of management, leadership, living well thought process.

If you want to be a driving force. The driving force. You must be able to give. If you want life to go a little more smoothly; If you desire less stress or confrontation in your life; you must give.

Some folks and situations are like bedrock - immovable, impenetrable. They just won't give. It's hard being "that guy."

Endeavor to be the driving mechanism. Endeavor to "give." Endeavor to check your stubbornness, ego, and prejudices. Give. The driving mechanism gives. If you want to be a driving force, you must give.

As Victor Frankel so eloquently stated: "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."

Spot on. When we hit unyielding bedrock, it behooves us to give.

All Scanning n No Egg Nog

Makes d a dull girl. So I'm having a second glass. Figure it may also provide a certain amount of "warmth.". Got cold here fast.

Would like to gas off about how significant and special I find this scanning process but I suddenly feel very chill.

Ahhhhh Egg Nog. . .

New Toy

My parents have all these slides and they're just trapped in boxes not able to be enjoyed or mocked. . .

I ordered this little slide and negative scanner. You can put all your pics to digital. I've been playing with it a bit this evening. I need to get away from it actually. I'm so excited to see the next slide, I could sit here all night!

Anyway, it's little labor intensive but the gadget is pretty simple and was easy to install. . .Did it all by myself without cursing or even a hint of frustration.

Found this pick of my Father and his Father and their dog. So much fun!

If I find any truly heinous attire, etc., I'll be sure to post.

Good night, happy Friday, and GO NAVY!!!!!

WTF of the Day.

These items turned up in the kitchen area at my office today: 1 box of instant Jello pudding, some "barely used" witch hazel, and a box of elderberry immune system support tablets.

I guess some one cleaned out their pantry and their medicine cabinet last night?

So the pudding is name brand and chocolate and presumably fit for consumption but what on earth would make someone think anyone would want an opened bottle of witch hazel or an odd herbal remedy?!

Tweet? Tweet?

I decided I wanted to try Twitter. This was not forced upon me by the multitudes that mock me for not participating in other social networking sites. But sooner or later it was bound to happen.

The nice thing about Twitter, I'm just Homeeckwreck there too. Still pretty anonymous. Plus, how fun will it be to rant in 140 characters or less?

You know what amazes me about Blogger and Twitter and similar sites? How freaking user friendly they are. I remember in College, for a Geology class of all things, I had to build a web site. Yeah, it was graded. . .for a Geology class. I know WTF? Anyway, I'm not an IT wizard. It took me forever and at least a case of Yuengling Lager's worth of assistance from a few friends to get that sucker functioning.

And fast forward about 12 years, and in the course of about 15 minutes I set up a Twitter account, uploaded a photo, added a Twitter widget to my Blog, AND set my Blackberry up for mobile tweeting. (Tweeting. . .is that the correct term?)

So you can "tweet" me if you'd like. I would definitely like. As I said, I'm @homeeckwreck there too.

Rescue Cats Rule #19

Adoption fee: $0.00
Neutering: $400
Night in the pet ICU: $200
ER help for testicular "issues": $700
All inclusive. . .

Eddie knows how to roll. . .

We love him!!!

U iz Crazy Lazer Pointer Chik?

Allister's Blue Steel. . .

gIT OFF THE zINc (sink) b%^*(TCHES!

Bugs! #10

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."
- Confucius

This is a good pic to double click.

Bugs! #15

When I let the dogs in the yard earlier today I looked to my left and noticed these small bugs on a weed(?) in the planter. They are super small. I think they might be aphids?

It's very cold here compared to the weather we've been experiencing. In fact, this morning is the first time we had to turn on the heat. I wonder where the aphids winter? I wonder why they wouldn't just dig in the dirt instead of clinging to a weed in the cold air?

If you enlarge the pic by double clicking on it, you can really make out some delicate details on the bug to the far right. I think this truly tested the auto adjustments on my camera. I hope the bugs stick around awhile so I can practice some manual adjustments in the daylight.

Back to Work Regrets?

Tomorrow C and I are back to work following just about 5 full days away. If you recall, I made a 20 item to-do list at the start of last week. I've done pretty well. I've reviewed and here's what I haven't yet accomplished:

10. Finishing What the Dog Saw. It's sitting right here beside me. I have about 60 pages to go. I could conceivably finish this evening. However, I'm currently too distraught with Pittsburgh's performance to see straight.

14. Molly still needs her shot.

16. That whole eat well and exercise thing. . .I didn't do any better this week than any other week. Disappointing as this kinda' disproves my theory that I would exercise more if I had more free time.

Annapolis #67

Spotted - Annapolis Store Front. . .

Annapolis #65

Trying to convince C this should be our next house. . .He was completely disinterested.

Annapolis #57

The gardens at the Paca House are lovely (and it's quite large for a town setting). There is a "summer house," pond (complete with a mangrove tree), magnolia trees, a rose garden, herbs, a a teensy boxwood "maze", an apple tree fence, Hollies, and a flower garden.

Annapolis #51

The William Paca House. . .

Maryland had 4 signers of the Declaration of Independence: William Paca, Samuel Chase, Thomas Stone, and Charles Carroll (of Carrollton).

Apparently, all had residences in Annapolis as it was a hub of political activity. Paca's home is one of the most accessible. It's a huge Georgian/Federal home. We've seen a lot of this style in the past few months. . .

Again, our tour guide was fantastic and we were the only two in the group. . .

Annapolis #48

Annapolis #43

The view from the State House Steps.

Annapolis #42

The House Chamber. Very CSPAN.

Annapolis #41

The Tiffany Glass Skylight in the House Chamber.

Annapolis #39

The Christmas tree in the State House is decorated with ornaments made my Maryland children. The ornaments have a Maryland theme. Apparently Maryland children really love the Baltimore Ravens, Navy, and one special student apparently loves Thrasher's Boardwalk Fries.

Annapolis #25

Annapolis #20

The State House on a beautiful day. Annapolis was the first peacetime capitol of the United States (1783-1784). It is the oldest statehouse in America still in continuous legislative use.

A portion of the building was constructed from 1772 - 1779. The architect was Joseph Anderson and the builder was Charles Wallace. Mr. Wallace built the structure, including the dome without nails (as they was a tariff on them at the time).

There is another portion of the building constructed 1902-1905. This portion contains the current day House and Senate Chambers. The Governor's office is still located in the original structure.

Our tour guide was great. We were the only two in the tour (as usual).

Annapolis #15

I was rather excited to find this in the St. Anne's Cemetery. I had read about the skull and cross bones motif in a magazine but had never seen one before. They are prevalent in New England. Sometime the skulls also have wings attached - symbolic of the soul leaving the physical body. I assumed we didn't have cemeteries old enough (or having survived) in Maryland to contain these symbols. . .I was happily wrong. Now, I don't have to travel to New England to find one.

Annapolis #14

Annapolis played host and was home to a lot of important historical figures. The usual characters from our Maryland history tourism earlier this year, popped up here as well. . .

Annapolis #9

The organ at St. Anne's Church. According to the Annapolis & Anne Arundel County Official Visitor's Guide:

"The present church, built in the Romanesque Revival style, is the third to stand on this site. Construction began in 1859, using some of the walls and the tower of the second church, which had been destroyed by fire in 1858. The St. Anne's Window, given to the church in 1893, was designed by the Tiffany studios."

Annapolis #3

Made a quick trip to Annapolis yesterday afternoon to see what we could see in a couple of hours. Talk about a town with a history. . .This is St. Anne's Church. Located appropriately enough in Church Circle. When the town was established, the state house went on the highest hill and the church went on the second highest hill. Clearly, these folks favored separation of church and state. (Roll eyes at corny joke).

Spotted - Sleazy Rider

Yes that is a rubber alligator glued to the back under the plywood spoiler. Painted on the side? "Good car for mother-in-law." Ahahahahaha.

No offense to my mother in law. . .She's very classy.

This guy clearly has a great sense of humor.

Sweet Spot

The wee hours have always been my most fave. I love being awake when no one else is. I like the quiet. By my own doing, my life is seldom quiet and I cherish being awake later than everyone else.

I guess my Dad and Husband feel the same way when they get awake at 4 AM. . .

Anyway, I'm still rolling Gladwell's article around in my head (the one I referenced in my previous post. . .I'd reference it by name but the book is 3 floors away LOL). The book is titled What the Dog Saw but it's a compilation of articles he's written so I can't recall the name of the chapter.

I just found a few pics and I hung them. I'm always happier with my photos after a period of separation.

I wonder about the pics I've hung. I wonder about the art I've made. I used to joke "plagiarize, plagiarize, that's why God gave you eyes."

That was self depreciating - a reference to my fear that I've never had a completely original thought ever.

That's not to say I'm guilty of blatant copying. However, I cast a wide net for inspiration and sometimes I'm pretty sweet on what I dredge up.

I guess I'm not "protecting" anything here - photos, art, projects, inspiration - that is the whole purpose of this blog - to share.

Puh -leaseeeeeee. . .If I thought I had something priceless would I post it here? ahhhh haha haha!

One thing I've noticed no matter what, if you have a passion, if you're doing something with heart, it shows. It's not something we can force. Heart.

Big puffy heart. . .and focus. . .and dedication. . .

Thoughts on Collective Character

I'm human. I've done a number of things in my life that I'm not proud of. I've made mistakes and I've made poor decisions and I've sometimes even acted in spite, malice, or with slightly ulterior motives.

I suppose this is part of the human condition. I suppose sometimes, for numerous possible reasons, folks behave badly. . .and sometimes it's not even intentional. Please understand this post is not about passing judgment. That would be entertaining tho wouldn't it?

One of the greatest gifts is to be offered forgiveness.

And one of the greatest opportunities is to earn trust, to genuinely attempt to redeem oneself.

But isn't it true that no matter what you do after an offense, you are left with a lingering sense of disappointment with yourself? Something is altered in the relationship you have with the person that you offended. And for me at least, something is altered in my view of myself.

Why am I spouting off?

It's a convergence of events that have lead me to wonder about humanity, morals, values. . .CHARACTER. . .In no particular order:

1. Tiger Woods. Huh? More money than gawd, a beautiful wife, healthy family. . .What's with the alleged affair? I can't pretend to know what it feels like to be Tiger. The pressure must be nearly unbearable at times. I just hope that he realizes what a role model he is for tons of young men and women. I hope he knows that people everywhere aren't expecting him to be perfect but they are expecting a swift righting of his moral compass. Do the right thing, be a good husband and father. We need that.

2. Sexting. . .A 13 year-old girl hung herself. Yes. Hung herself from her bed because a topless pic she sent to a boy she liked went viral and the backlash was more than she was prepared to handle. These are the things that positively scare me to death when I contemplate raising children. How will I ever be able to guide them through all the land mines? You can't just "grow up" anymore. Every move you make is now able to be analyzed, mocked, critiqued on YouTube, texts, bogs, im's, etc. In my day, teenage girls could still be cruel but our only outlet was a marker and a bathroom wall. We didn't have the entire WWW to broadcast our immature rudeness. I'm not sure how we fix this? I do know it's tragic and senseless and it's urgent we figure this out.

3. Malcolm Gladwell - I read a story he wrote about intellectual property and plagiarism. This was timely reading for me because a co-worker recently essentially plagiarized my a good bit of my resume. Gladwell always offers at least three interesting perspectives or musings. When I first learned of the "offense" I laughed. After a few days to stew about it, I was livid. But I couldn't exactly explain why stealing someone else's resume was wrong. I couldn't really articulate it. Everyone I spoke to about it, agreed it was horrible and demonstrated a lack of integrity on the part of hte "borrower." We discussed ways I could "confront" the "borrower." But the bottom line was I couldn't articulate anything more than I felt wronged because I spent the time writing and editing hte resume and he essentially stole it. It's not like a resume is intellectual property. It's not like a resume is copyrighted. It's not like we're bound by an academic honor code.

I guess in the end, it came down to what all these other scenarios come down to: character. If Tiger Woods thought a little more, if the sexting teen's tormentors, if the resume thief thought a little more about their character I would have nothing to bitch about this evening.

Character is powerful. Follow your moral compass. Do the right thing, at the right time, for the right reasons. You'll sleep well. You'll do well. You'll live well.

If Things Snowball, I must be Frosty

Perhaps I'm a little nuts. Seriously, who has holiday decor for their bathroom?!

But in a small house, you need to cram the cheer into every corner.

Snowball II

Wasn't that the name of the cat or something on the Simpson's?

Anyway, you can't hang holiday crap from the banister without scrubbing it down and polishing it first right?

Snowball, snowball, snowball. . .

The Snowball Effect

Ugh. It all starts out innocently enough. You think you'll touch up some paint, spread a little holiday cheer around the house. . .

But before you know it, you're wishing you never started. Or at the very least wishing you had some damned egg nog to dull the pain of it all!

Hairs Awares. . .

d: I have to get my hair done. I want something more towards my natural color.

Mom: You need to get back to that. Your stylist is telling you your color looks good because she doesn't want to rock the boat.

d: What do I tip her for the holidays? Her blowouts rock.

Mom: I typically get $10.

d: RUMFing kiddin?

Mom: "Well you live in a big city."

Mom: "Tell your stylist what you want. Stop with that "fake" red."

Mom: Also tell her you can't handle anything ash.

d: Yikes! Is she going to have to strip me?

Mom: Not necessarily.

[UNSPOKEN} d: Why can't I just ask for what I want?

Tis the Season

The catalogues, email solicitations, and sale ads are already relentless. If these's one thing I learned from this lifestyle challenge, it's that I don't love shopping nearly as much as I thought I did.

Thanks to family name drawings, our gift lists are much smaller this year. I do like picking special gifts for loved ones but I no longer get a rush by shopping for myself.

I was tempted by an Ann Taylor email earlier this evening. I looked online and didn't see one item I needed or was dying to have.

I feel like I don't even know myself any more!!! Who am I?! LOL!

Tomorrow we do have some shopping to do: paint and a wreath for the front door. I think we can finangle a pine wreath despite the shopping moratorium. It's afterall, part of the Holiday "experience."

Shopping will be followed by lunch and painting. Already knocked out a few things on the to do list. Feels good to get it out of the way early in the week.

Mystery Solved!

I guess this explains why even our cleanest laundry is always covered in pet hair!

C and d's Week of Must Use Vaca

It's getting to that time of year where if you haven't used your vacation time, you must lest you lose it. C and I took a week off at the same time. (I'll let you know whether we both live to see Sunday).

Anyway, things are off to a bit of an icky start. Both of us had to go to work today for a while. And it's raining.

We didn't have true vacation plans so I've taken the initiative to make use some plans. Here's the list. . .It's riveting

1. Grocery list and store
2. Get guest room ready for weekend company
3. Decorate for Christmas and keep curious/obnoxious cat away from them
4. Touch up paint. Paint back splash. Yes. . .we've decided a fresh coat of paint would suffice for now. I don't know what I want and I didn't want to tear up the house before company and holidays.
5. Order prints from Shutterfly
6. Holiday cards
7. Lick 246 CFA letter envelopes and mail
8. Give the basement some love
9. Do not drink Kahlua for breakfast or gallons of Chardonnay mid-afternoon "just because you can."
10. Finish What the Dog Saw by Malcolm Gladwell (I love him).
11. Make sure my hair is one color by the end of the week.
12. Figure out holiday gifts and perhaps start to purchase
13. Go to the post office to avoid complete holiday chaos
14. Molly needs meds and her shot
15. Avoid trashy daytime TV. . .sooooooo good.
16. Eat well and exercise
17. Go somewhere local and do something fun. Heard on NPR there's a Matisse exhibit at BMA until early Jan. And I haven't been to DC or Havre de Grace in ages.
18. Get ready for party this weekend
19. Get some sleep!
20. Get food for the food drive.

So we should be bored by Wednesday afternoon? hahaha.

Christmas Came Early!

I just love pigs! So much I could cry.

Spotted! Crusin' With The King

And we're not talking about the Lord