Spotted!

Yet another orphaned item left in my office's kitchen.

"Come and get some cold sore treatment along with your microwaved Lean Cuisine!"

How appetizing!

I can't tell if this has been used or not? Not sure if I want to know.

WTF people? Sometimes you just shouldn't reuse or recycle.

STOP LEAVING RANDOM HALF-USED PERSONAL GROOMING ITEMS IN THE KITCHEN PLEASE!!!! It's grossing me out!

Vision, Life Lists, and a Plan?!

Here's a stupid sentence for you: You can't get somewhere unless you know where you're going. Here's where I hope to go. Which I've never actually put all together - in writing:

1. Write so well it pays the (modest) bills.
2. Victorian house on the Eastern Shore preferably on the water or just a block or two from it. Fixer upper of course.
3. Sell (potentially shitty and tasteless) arts, crafts and junk from a shop on main street on eastern shore
4. Bicycle or boat to work, grocery, bakery, wine shop, church
5. Raise children in said Victorian house close to the water with all the love, understanding, support, and caring we can offer. Plus a lot of fun stuff 'till we're not "cool." (as if we ever were? Don't tell them puh-leeeze)
6. Sleep in
7. Get up early
8. NEVER use a dry cleaner again. Nail polish will only be kept in the house for adorable daughter(s) sleep over parties. . .Same with high heels (oh who the eff am I kidding on that one?! hahaha)
9. Read a LOT, Think a LOT, Laugh a LOT, Share a LOT, Create a LOT
10. All with C forever, and ever
11. Know the neighbors really well - no matter what C says! haha
12. Have a big porch with the ceiling painted pale blue - perfect for iced tea, porch swings, lemonade, sunny days, thunderstorms, hide and seek, holiday decorations, sparklers, Monopoly and card games, and an occasional pilfered cigarette!
13. Animals everywhere! Dogs, cats, goats, goldfish, and maybe a rooster.
14. Is it wrong to insert [personal assistant and private jet] here? Hahaha!
15. Cook lovely meals for friends and family - celebrate several times a week - for fun and fellowship.
16. Volunteer - reading programs for young and old, mentoring, pro bono work with experienced attorneys, Humane Society, etc.
17. Learn how to sail
18. Take more piano lessons and learn jazz piano (who knew d had nearly 12 years of classical piano lessons? Who also knows d has no rhythm and is nearly tone deaf. Quite an accomplishment no?)
19. Live simply with heart and grace and compassion and teach our children the same. Doing the right things at the right time for the right reasons.
20. Document it all in pics

15 1/2 Hours Later. . .

Let's reflect on my previous post shall we?

1. I think it's apparent why I should remain in bed until at least 7:30. Anything earlier and you're going to get a cantankerous, surly version of d.

Action: No blogging so early unless I've been up all night.

2. I gas on about how my destiny is not entirely in my own hands. I'm glad it's not. I have a husband, a couple of really trusted friends/mentors, family. . .all at the ready to make sure I don't make a bone-headed move. If I do, I know they'll support me anyway. . .but I'll certainly hear their unfiltered opinions first. I'm very thankful for all the love I have in my life.

Action: If I'm going to make a boneheaded move, I'm going to do it swiftly and without consulting others.

3. "I always believed that if I did what I was supposed to do, possessed an exceptional attitude, was well educated, was a team player, and worked like a dog I'd somehow be "rewarded." You know what else you need? Faith, vision, patience, balls, and some days a beer.

Action: Vision. . .My disenchantment stems not from what is occurring around me but from what I'm NOT creating from it. No one holds a gun to my head and makes me work for "the man" on a daily basis. If I'm not getting what I need, if it's clouding my judgment, affecting me too much, stifling my creativity, I either look for other ways to get what I want from my current environment or I look for another environment. (if that makes any sense?)

4. "So I've been thinking about what I'd like to do differently and how I'd do that. I haven't figured it all out yet. . ." How long have I been doing this dance? Enough already!

Action: Figure it the F#$%^& out! Make a plan. Work the plan. Write a mission statement, create a niche, do SOMETHING. Put up or shut up. I have never seen the phrase "providing joy and personal fulfillment" in a job description. That you have to do your damn self.

5. "Going forward, somehow, in careful steps or maybe a chaotic crash, my income and happiness aren't going to be dependent on a bunch of suits. . ." This is true.

Action: See 4. I'll keep you posted.

6. Life is too short.

Good Morning!

Found Dexter in the bathtub this morning. . .He didn't comment on what he was doing in there. I suppose it wasn't any of my business anyway.

Anyone wondering when in the hell I'm awake so early this morning? I'm not sure myself. I was awake and instead of forcing myself to fall asleep again, I just got up. I'm going to try writing a little this morning - or something else I like to do. Take some pics. Not sure but I have some time to do something pleasant before work.

And I'm thinking about work. I've been working for the same company (more or less) for the past 10 years. I always believed that if I did what I was supposed to do, possessed an exceptional attitude, was well educated, was a team player, and worked like a dog I'd somehow be "rewarded."

I'm beginning to understand (I'm a bit slow obviously), that doesn't always matter. Sometimes it's who you know. Maybe sometimes, it's luck? In fact, my destiny isn't entirely dependent on me. (And yes, I read Outliers and know for most successful folks, it seldom is but if I have any luck it seems poor at best).

I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this realization. I'm not sure I'm fully committed to working at something that doesn't bring me enough joy, likely is detrimental to my blood pressure, and often feels as if my contributions are meaningless or insignificant at best.

I gave up working for the altruistic greater good when I took this gig 10 years ago. I was working for "the man" for sure. . .An entirely capitalistic corporate greed ain't such a bad thing business. At the time, I justified it as a paycheck while I went to law school. After law school, I stayed believing that if I just had a different position, reached a certain level of accomplishment, I could go back to more meaningful endeavors. Plus, there were mortgages and loan payments and retirement savings to address.

But this morning, I'm acknowledging my disenchantment with the past ten years. I'm no longer satisfied spending 10 hours a day in a place being a small cog in a huge columbine that runs day and night. Before I know it, all the teeth will have ground off the cog. I'll be one of those hollow-eyed middle-aged middle managers, lamenting what I should have done. . .

I read somewhere recently that the days can feel so long but the years go by so quickly. I think that's an accurate observation. Ten years has gone by very quickly and yet, my days are frequently full of confrontation, pettiness, drudgery. The "rewards" hardly seem worth it in hindsight.

So I've been thinking about what I'd like to do differently and how I'd do that. I haven't figured it all out yet but I've decided being proactive never hurt anyone. And if I want to write, I'll write. If I'd rather take photos, I'll take photos. I'll work hard at it. There may be folks with more talent, but I'll bet there are very few willing to work as hard as me. I'm relentless.

Going forward, somehow, in careful steps or maybe a chaotic crash, my income and happiness aren't going to be dependent on a bunch of suits that don't know who I am, what I do, or even how well I do it. Whether that means temping as an attorney part time, waiting tables, staying where I am and slowing checking out. . .I'm not sure. I have time to figure it out. . .but not much.

Life is too short.

Don't Dare Breathe!

Glass Cutting in progress. Notice the gloves and safety glasses. CIH's don't mess around. Measure twice, cut once Grasshopper.

Last Sunday's Frame Up

C's frame is coming along really well. Go C!

Beeyatch. . .

Stitched, laundered, currently drying. Not too bad for a couple hours. Hopefully my eyes will un-cross any time now.

Design from the Book Subversive Cross Stitch by Julie Jackson

Hmmmmm

So I managed to make a letter. Maybe a mimosa isn't necessary? And as tedious as the stitching is, would likely prove disasterous to my fine motor skills!

What Are the Odds

This will drive me to a mimosa in about half an hour?