Today's WTF?

My friend L never fails to disappoint with her entertaining and amusing stories and "news."  Yesterday she came into my office to report she heard about this store on  Etsy.com while she was listening to the radio. 

Aside - Etsy is awesome.  You can get all kinds of quality hand-made arts and crafts.  Never in my wildest dreams could I have guessed this creative.

Soooo. . .at this particular store you can order custom jewelry that looks like female anatomy.  (Let's just suffice to say the parts rhyme with um. . .Delores and Mulva).  We discussed how bizarre this must be.  Let's face it, if the Lord or natural selection intended those parts to be viewed by the general public don't you think they would be a little more prominent on the upper torso - say on your face or something?

I had nearly forgotten all about it. . .Until I got a text this evening. 

L:  Omg.  Put in vulva to esty and so much vag comes up.  It is freaky shit.
d:  Yikes!  Just got done walking.  Def will check out soon.  I guess it's more than jewelry?  Did u try penis?
L:  It is mostly jewelry.  A lot of necklaces.  I wll penis next.  This would be a good blog topic.
d:  Ur right.  Thanks for the tip!
L:  Ha tip.  Get it?

With an endorsement like "It is freaky shit."  I had to see for myself.  Let's suffice it to say, this is not an artistic stylized rendition of said anatomy.  It is quite literal and graphic. 

The pitch for the product starts out "Celebrate your own beauty."  Couldn't one just celebrate privately?  Why would you have to advertise this beauty around your neck on a chain?! 

The pitch continues:  "After purchasing you can e-mail 2-3 photos of your Yoni to: [email deleted]. Please include chain choice: Antique copper or gunmetal."

So let me get this straight.  If you want a necklace in the likeness of your nether region (or "Yoni" according to the artist) you need to email pics?

Aside:  I suppose the word "custom" should have indicated to me that somehow the artist would need to see the genuine article.

Am I a prude?  Is nothing sacred? Am I the only one that takes issue with this?  I've said this before and I'm saying it again:  I totally embrace your first amendment freedoms to do just about anything (legal) you damned well please in the name of self expression but in this case, do you have to be so literal about it?

Where would you wear this jewelry exactly?  It's not like you could wear it anywhere like, say, a classic strand of pearls.   

I'm beside myself.  I suppose I could be (nearly) literally if I had one of these necklaces.  (ECK!!!!)

I checked out a few other items in the store.  This one made me laugh out loud:  "Roughly two C. Vaginal Dinnerware."

Yup.  Here is this very lovely ceremic creamer pitcher - snow white, beautiful in it's simplicity with "two off-center inky black Vaginae."  WHY?!!!  For the love of  little baby Jesus, WHY!!!??

I can picutre it now: 

d:  Would you like coffee?
Guest:  That would be lovely, thank you.
d:  Do you take sugar or (picking up lovely creamer) VAGINA with your coffee?
Guest:  Falls off her chair and spits coffee all over creation, never to visit again.