The Fat Ass Dispatch #8

Ok. Technically Wednesdays are "weigh in" days. But I put them off until I feel thin! I have a science background so I try to keep all outside variables the same. I try to be very strict the day prior, I tinkle, brush, rinse, and step on the scale in my birthday suit.

This morning, the scale indicated that I was back at my original weight plus three. Hmmmmmmm. . .Is it humanly possible to put on that much weight in one week? Don't get me wrong, I've been a complete slacker this week. Still I didn't feel as if I had gained THAT MUCH!!!

I checked out my gear. In my haste to purchase the cheapest scale, I purchased one that has the "tare" or zero that's controlled by a little dial. Yes, It's that low tech.

As best as I can tell, last Thursday, when C moved it to clean the floors, he bumped the dial. . He bumped it way up. . .Good news? I didn't gain 10 pounds after losing 7. Bad news? I didn't really lose any this week either. And I deserve that. . .From hereafter, we'll just refer to this week as the blue cheese ball episode of '09. It's a week that will live in infamy.

It's not the first. . .nor will it be the last. . .

The Fat Ass Dispatch #4

Have come to the conclusion that good behavior is really quite boring.

It would be far more entertaining if I could report that I fell off the wagon and ate twenty points worth of weight watchers dessert cakes (which are btw, the size of my pinky finger. . .and my fingers are remarkably, slender no matter my current weight).

We've been walking a good bit. That's nice - mostly. It's really been warm and humid here and I suspect I continually smell like damp gym socks but no one has intervened yet so it's likely just my over-active imagination.

Did break down and purchase a scale Friday night. However, I bought one of the cheapest ones I could find in the rather likely event I have a completely mental break and throw it out the third floor window.

Fat Ass Dispatch #2

I have sprouts stuck in my teeth.

Clearly I do not have a future as a food stylist either!

Later: How the summer sack dress encourages gluttoney, sloth and possibly other deadly sins!

Guess what this is?!

No not Twinkies - I've never been a fan.

This is my stockpile of weight watchers little one point cakes. I've apparently been stashing these in the cabinet while I eat full fat ice cream, "real" cake, and other stuff!

Am I a lost cause? I just need to lose 20 lbs. That should be cake. . .at least by the looks of it! Hahaha.

Maybe this will inspire me? To eat like 20 at a clip! Haha