The Fat Ass Dispatch #1

Ok. We've all heard this before but a few things have happened in recent years and even weeks with my parents' health that make me realize now more than ever. . .If I'm carrying around an extra 20 (and honestly if you asked a doctor they'd probably say 30) pounds at the age of 33, I'm likely to be carrying around 40 or 50 in another 10 or 20 years.

I need to get my act together and take care of myself. Neither of my parents are overweight but they've had other health issues and I want every possible advantage to help me be preventative.

I've always worn sunscreen. I've always eaten lots of fruits and vegetables. I brush and floss. Of late, I've become extremely cautious of over processed foods. . .And now I need to buckle down and get some exercise and force myself to consistently make smart food choices (i.e., will power for chrissakes).

I'm encouraged by my irrational but deathly fear of doctors, hospitals, and all things medical. No sense inviting a visit by being a lazy fat ass.

So I've committed. For real this time. . .And lucky you get to hear all about it.

Here's the latest and greatest:

Got up this morning more bloated than four day old roadkill. Know I should avoid coffee as it creates some kind of acidic/bloating reaction but sooooooo love the taste. Tried to exercise restraint but still likely drank 4 cups.

Went to the ladies room about 9:30 and realized that my fat roll had somehow managed to work button lose on my beautifully tailored white pantsuit in the past hour or so. WTF? I can't have this fat roll getting free will - it could lead to the demise of all mankind!

Ate watermelon for breakfast. Ate 10 almonds for a snack. Ate fresh mixed fruit, a piece of whole wheat toast, a little melted pepper jack cheese, a granny smith apple and low fat/cal honey mustard dressing for lunch.

Feeling very smug for a while until I started to feel the urge to mindless eat. Made some raspberry tea. It seemed to work ok.

Spent the last half hour at work logging in all my food into the Weight Watcher's website. Was tempted to lie about "activity points" but decided no one on the WW staff would judge. . .Contemplated buying a scale which I have always banned as I'm rather muscular and typically work off of inches rather than pounds.

Checked out the WW mobile app on my Blackberry in traffic. The detail with which I'm able to track every morsel of food I put in my mouth truly appeals to my OCD side.

Walked with C and Tilghman for close to an hour. It was not a breakneck pace but it was so hot and humid, I felt smug for enduring such vile discomfort.

Discomfort because a while ago I bought this pair of Asics because I liked the color and they were cheap at Nordstrom Rack. There is a flipping reason I've always been a Saucony gal. Asics suck for my feet. . .numb toes, minor blistering.

Ate more vegetation than a full grown panda for dinner. Plus a very very very good dippy egg on a piece of warm wheat bread. That egg was so simply prepared and the toast was warm but not too crunchy. The salad was cool and crisp and full of: romaine, sprouts, cucumber, broccoli, mushrooms. I precut a lot over the weekend so the whole meal took about 10 minutes total. It was so simple. It reminded me again how lovely simply prepared foods are - so long as the ingredients are stellar. \

That's a lesson for you skinny bitches too. Do yourselves and the environment a favor and eat simple foods that you can purchase in season locally.

It's now midnight. Not hungry. Today has been a success food-wise.

After dinner, I did my usual sit ups on the balance ball - the fat roll apparently cannot be beat into submission. Decided to use my puny 2lb weights to do some basic arm exercises. Ha! Those weights were so dusty, I should be bludgeoned with them!

Speaking of bludgeoning. . .Why am I so effing cranky? hahaha!