May 07, 2010

Shuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. . .




Looking out my front window while I wait for the LAST batch of Lemon-Chamomile Shortbread to bake for tomorrow morning's bake sale.

Witness a neighbor across the street in his front upstairs window. He's wearing a gray T shirt with the sleeves cut off. I see him in profile from the waist up. The room is dim. The TV is flickering. He's standing close to the window making odd jerky motions.

I'm intrigued.

I'm picturing another lurid encounter with fornicating neighbors.

Of course I continue to watch.

His movements are curious. His front window is open. I can tell because the curtains stir.

I open our front door. Even across the street I can hear it. . .

Shuuuuuuuuu, Shuuuuuuuu, Shuuuuuuuu. . .

His vocalizations carry across our quiet, narrow, city street.

Shuuuuuuuuu, Shuuuuuuuuu, Shuuuuuuuu. . .

And his movements seem coreographed with his cadence.

I'm mesmerized.

I watch. I listen.

Is this some kind of tantric sex stuff I don't understand?

Suddenly gurgling is audible. And then a tiny little arm offers itself from his profile.

He is comforting a newborn baby. He is shuuuuuuu - ing and rocking a baby.

And suddenly, my perverse curiosity is replaced by a curious longing.

And I am overwhelmed by sentiment.

His movements are suddenly understood as tender, and precious, and beautiful.

His shuuuuuuuuu soothes the empty street.

And I wonder what am I missing?

May 05, 2010

Life is Officially Imitating Art - 'Cept Uglier. . .



If you split the slit in your skirt getting into the car it might be a good idea to get back on the Weight Watchers no? in my defense, the skirt wasn't tight, I just kinda slid into the car in rather ungracefully.

But I had a good 50 minutes in traffic to contemplate the error of my ways. It also afforded me time to formulate a plan for getting into the house without my wardrobe malfunction exposing my Spanx to the entire neighborhood. (Slid the skirt around so it appears the skirt has a side slit. Albeit a slutty bizarro looking side slit but it's better than giving your neighbors a good look at your caboose while you drag in about 35 bags from the craft store.)

And after I figured out the split-slit twist, I had plenty of time to be painfully aware of the extra 20 pounds I'm carrying around. Why do I keep yo-yo-ing the same 15 pounds? Why can't I just be more disciplined? Why can't I get a stomach flu to get me a good head start?

Luckily before I had time to contemplate anything serious, I got a phone call. (Can you believe I had cell reception the entire way through the Fort McHenry tunnel?)

At the present? Sitting here mindlessly eating M&Ms. . .After all, the best diet ever is the one you start tomorrow!

April 21, 2010

Catoctin #105

Catoctin #110



Like spring leaves, present yourself to the world quietly but confidently

Like spring light, highlight all that is fresh, and graceful, and glorious

Like warmer days, endeavor to shine light upon all that is tender and beautiful

Like a stream running swift with snow melt and spring rains, soften rough edges

Be brilliant like small flowers on the forest floor

Hurry

Fall is swift

And winter is certain

Catoctin #153

Catoctin #156



Seems a shame that this perfectly good still is sitting idle. Maybe the National Parks Service should start brewing some Camp David Whiskey? It could help defray the costs of maintaining the Park.

Catoctin #143



While C did a more "challenging" (i.e., miserable way uphill, only woods, potential to leave d sweaty and waaaayyy winded hike), d checked out this trail. . .

Sadly, the still isn't in current operation.

So don't come thirsty.

You will be sadly disappointed.

Consider yourself warned. . . hahaha

April 20, 2010

Catoctin #86



Things that look dirty but aren't. . .

Things that are a public safety hazzard. . .

Things that could be easily fixed with a chainsaw. . .

Giggle. . giggle. . .snarky giggle. . .

Catoctin #77



C: Maybe they had a bowel movement here and that sealed their love?

d: I married you! I married you! I married you? Such a romantic.

Catoctin #76




This pretty much perfectly illustrates why C should not be left to his own devices hiking the Grand Canyon. . .

For the love of gawd. . .We paid how much for Invisalign?!

Catoctin #67

April 19, 2010

Catoctin #64



A good wife would think the following after viewing this pic of their husband:

A. Ha, ha, ha, eeeehhhh, ha, ahahahaha. . .It looks as if he's "motor boating" the mountains.

B. My handsome husband is a sweet gentle soul that really loves hiking, and nature, and me.

C. Neither A nor B

D. I'm going to hell regardless.

E. Shouldn't the answer be more obvious - like one of those stupid magazine or online quizzes?

F. Thank gawd I'm not married to Tiger Woods, I'd be a widow by now.

Catoctin #56



Trust me. I'm a Certified Industrial Hygenist.

Shall we Commence with the Weekend Torture?



C and I decide Sunday is a great day for a hike. C and I are forced to admit our ideas of "hiking" and spending time in "nature" are not necessarily the same. This is a nice way of saying C was a bit cranky. . .'cause I'd never ever be cranky.

C and I realize sometimes you can take different paths and still come to the same place (that place may or may not have been C was cranky.)

Hiked Catoctin. Another National Park. Felt very important being so close to Camp David. Was just waiting for some Secret Service Agent to tell me I was too close to something important. . .

Sadly, C and I don't make nearly as much of an impression as those two ding-dongs that crashed the dinner at the White House.

April 14, 2010

Dream a BIG Dream. . .



"If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up."

-J.M. Power

I'll definitely be waking up in a few short hours with this rolling around in my head.

Dream big HomeEckWreckers!!!

And sleep fast.

Thinking about a little give away. . .If there's something you'd like that I've made or photographed please comment. Maybe I can re-create something similar for a few "lucky" folks! :)

Super-Fast Cat Pic



Edison never suffers from torpor like Allister. Here he bolts from outta' the bathtub. . .He looks like some kind of apparition!

I love this concept but I'll NEVER be able to recreate it!

A double click will enlarge it so you can better see what I mean!

Shameless Cute Cat Pic



C and I have this running joke about how Allister seems to always be in a state of torpor.

April 12, 2010

Death & Taxes. . .Reminder




It's not without reservation that I post this content. These are the notes for a speech my deceased Father wrote for his own 60th birthday party. But I promised him, when he was well and when he was nearly an angel, that his stories would continue. And so on the oddest of days, his very own words end up on an obsecure blog. . .

At any rate, let me tell you how I stumbled upon these two little folded up sheets of legal paper this evening. . .

I'm in charge of the tax return at HomeEckWreck. I'm a stickler for organization and most years it goes smoothly. This allows me to procrastinate until the eleventh hour and still giterdone.

This year could be the exception. Obviously I wasn't thinking very clearly when all of the tax reporting documents arrived in the mail this year. I apparently stuffed a few in an undisclosed location (SHREDDER?).

This evening, I was ripping apart the house looking for my W-2 and a mortgage statement. I looked in the most unlikely of places. I was trying to retrace my steps from late December and early January - which are pretty much hazy given the events. Needless to say, I didn't find either document.

But when I yanked open the middle drawer of In-Law-Great Grandma Clark's dresser. . .in the dim light of the cruddy "living room". . .I caught out of the corner of my right eye, this folded up, gleaming white paper.

It was in a large Ziploc bag labeled "Dad's 60th." There were also photos, and other speeches, and menus, and news paper clippings - things I kept to make a little album for him. I didn't make the album in time.

Funny thing about his notes? He refers to the IRS! He was an itinerant construction worker for a number of years. . .

I like the idea of being itinerant. I love his handwriting. I love how his notes, thoughts, ideas, find me - often when I need them the most.

Dad's words serve as a reminder to me that life is to be enjoyed. . .to be lived to the fullest - everyday. Don't dare take a moment for granted. Work hard. Play harder. Be proud. Give much. Learn much. Dream big. Hold tight. Enjoy the ride.

And pay your taxes. . .Because as Dad would say, "Aw, dL fighing with the IRS is a 'fate worse than death.'"

I'd still be curious to know where my W-2 is? And maybe Dexter? I'm sleepy!!!

April 10, 2010

Blatant Tourism - Washington DC #258



Really? On a Segway? In front of the White House? Do you have any dignity left?

I don't pretend to be some sophisticated, Beltway-insider. I'm a simple gal from Baltimore. . .Who wisely, steps away from the Segway!

I'm a big enough geek. . .I don't need accessories that confirm it! hahaha

Washington DC #256



Mama Duck decided to nest in a tree planter beside a busy street. Luckily, these little mallards are well kept by the residents of the neighborhood - bird seed, water, and Do Not Disturb signs.

Good luck little ducklings. . .