PARTY!!! Part I

Thursday marked the evening of what my Father would have started celebrating of his 63rd birthday. (I'm alive. I'm alive! He started screaming that at 40).

He used to tell me with a smirk and a twinkle in his eye, "Aw dl, how did these sons of a bitches get so old?" After class reunions and so forth.

His birthday is Monday. We have a big day planned. I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, I'm up late listening to Buffett playing Starlake in Pittsburgh earlier this evening. I swear, Pops joined a few bands when he kicked it. He seems to have all of our fave songs played.

Or perhaps we just had a lot of favorite songs?

We did have a lot of favorite songs. We shared a lot of favorite songs. We shared a lot of favorite books, and stories, and dreams. We shared a lot of challenges too.

I can only smile thinking about our marathon Friday night telephone discussions when I was older. Thinking about our Saturday morning cartoon and pancake breakfast and snooze when I was a kid. Thinking about every moment we spent.

I'm certainly going to miss him screaming "Touchdown State" into my answering machine come this fall. (Ah dl they tied it up!! Touchdown State!!! Here we go Lions, Here we go!!!!)

But it will forever make me smile. He did good.

So many happy memories. And I'd like to say he created some kinda' lovely princess of a daughter and yet. . .

From earlier this evening a text I sent:

"Don't pick friends that will suck u dry. A heart is like a vagina - too much random shit in there and it gets all crusty and u end up uncomfortable and frustrated."

I sound EXACTLY like my Father.

And you wonder why I have tears in my eyes?!

Imma Dick and I Admit it. . .

In case you haven't met him, my Husband C, is pretty handsome.

At least his MOTHER and I think so. . .

We shared an excellent blueberry pancake brunch. My Mother in Law makes beautiful firm-fluffly pancakes. I didn't even want sauce or syrup. I merely wanted to appreciate the firm and fluffy goodness smothered in butter, , ,

And then I caught her looking at me.

Perhaps she was looking at me with sympathy knowing she just handed off clone of her husband?

And I wondered if I could offer her a grandchild?

Perhaps she understands more than I will ever understand - until I have my own children?

I love my in-law family. . .More and more. . .

Restless. . .Relentless. . .And More. . .I Know

I walked out on my husband last night. Not out of anger, frustration, bitterness or any other negative reason. I just felt a wandering in my heart.

I didn't get all dressed up in order to troll for men or anything that exciting or dysfunctional.

I just wanted to be left alone. And I wanted to be alone. And I wanted to drive around looking at the stormy sky looking for photographs. And I wanted to go to Macy's or Walmart or Goodwill or Michael's. . .Alone. But with me.

And when I arrived home two hours later, I still felt not quite myself. But I'm ok with that. . . .

If you always felt like yourself how could you possibly learn, grow, change, enjoy life?

And like an angel or perhaps a very wise fellow, my husband breathed barely a whisper. . .

Somewhere in the Middle

So today is an emotional day for me for a variety of reasons. Part of my heart - yes. . .I have one. . .Is with Captain Phil Harris because he reminds me a lot of my old man. So watching Deadliest Catch was particularly difficult for me.

But there's more. . .

Apparently my sisters aren't seeing eye to eye. I wasn't aware of their conflict until this evening.

Sisters fight. A lot. Sometimes for sport.

But when I have to play dummy in the middle for real this time to text messages like "Her life isn't more important than mine."

I need to check out.

I can't get in the middle of that stuff.

For the better part of my life I've been silently pleading with Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother to STOP!!!

Just STOP damnit.

Stop yelling.

Stop resenting.

Stop thinking you are "right"

Stop thinking about yourself.

Stop thinking about how your are a victim.

Stop making me feel as if I should save, fix, do, help, offer. . .It positively crushes me. . .

Start loving, giving, owning, offering. . . listening. . .

Silent pleas fall on death ears. And sometimes screams fall on death ears (in the case of my Parents.)

Either way, the message is the same: Life is precious and time is fleeting. You have the power to decide what is important. You have the power to figure out how you will spend your time. You have the power to build bridges. You have the power to be an example, an inspiration, a hero.

So get humble. Give love. Try a little empathy.

Try actually picking up the phone and hearing a voice on the other side. Try actually writing a note. Try. . .

TRY.

It feels as if no one in this world takes any pride or heart in trying any more.

I'm officially old. And if I'm ever fortunate to parent children, I worry about what they will learn about how I interact with my family and how they treat me. I worry that they will only be able to text message their aunts. I worry that they have an Uncle in Texas that seldom shows - but that they would adore. I worry about what a child would think. I worry.

And every so often. . .in a quiet, wicked-selfish immature voice, I wonder if anyone ever worries about me?

Fourth of July Weekend 4

Last night C and I enjoyed some of our haul from the winery tours a few weekends ago. We watched the fireworks and some of the televised Boston Pops special. Later that evening it appeared our neighbors had their own little fireworks display - but it wasn't really that "little." They had some serious fireworks!

Fourth of July Weekend 3

Allister and Edison spent quality time on the un-made guest bed. Who am I kidding? We all spent time on the un-made guest bed this weekend. This weekend wasn't just low-key. Parts of it were downright lazy.

Fourth of July Weekend 2

Dexter clearly can't wait for fireworks.

Fourth of July Weekend 1

Pretty low-key long weekend for us.

General's Ridge Vineyard 011

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This place is so peaceful and beautiful!

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The leaves on the sunny side of the vines need to be thinned and pruned so that an equal amount of light hits the shady side of the vines. I'm not sure if Larry told us why but I presume this allows even growth and ripening of the grapes.

Thinning and pruning, like every step of the process is done manually. Wine probably should cost more. . .

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Larry said the leaves need to be meticulously maintained. They are prone to mold and insects. I asked about deer. He said they aren't so much a problem as smaller critters. I believe he mentioned turkeys. He also mentioned there are some coyotes in the area that keep populations in balance.

If the leaves stay free of pests, sooner or later they're going to need some pruning and thinning. . .

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According to Larry, grapevines grow rapidly but need a lot of attention. Each April, the vines are cut nearly to the ground. So all the growth you are seeing in these photographs happened between April and mid-June.

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We had the pleasure of meeting the vineyard's Foreman, Larry. Larry was spraying some of the vines early Sunday morning. He said they stopped Saturday afternoon because it was 100 degrees in the fields! When we met Larry, he was on his way home to get ready for church but he was still kind enough to stop and chat with us for a bit.

It is immediately clear that Larry is a gentle and affable fellow. Living on the Northern Neck his entire life, he has the weathered skin and calloused hands of a man that physically labors for a living. His eyes twinkle. They hint at wisdom and knowledge and ingenuity that might be missed if one was to focus only on his nearly toothless grin or his blue collar attire.

Larry speaks confidently but softly - his drawl smooth and sweet like honey. He laughs easily during our conversation and kindly entertains and engages our inquisitiveness.

Northern Neck Wineries 007

Our last stop was The Hague Winery. All the wineries were great but this one was probably my favorite. The tasting room was in a big old barn that was painted in raucous citrus shades. There was a respectable amount of space for lounging inside and out. I felt as if we could order a glass of wine and linger at this place without being in another parties' way. Also, the gentleman that hosted the tasting - whom I'm guessing was owner Stephen Madey, took a great deal of time explaining his entire operation. He was very low key but the passion he has for his work was obvious.

Oh yeah, didn't help he had my most FAVORITE wine possibly EVER!!!! The Hague Winery Chardonel is exactly the wine I attempt to describe to waiters when I want a white wine: citrusey, crisp, not too dry. . .Love, love, love!!!!! I could have lingered for quite a while at this place.

http://thehaguewinery.com/

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This is NOT one of ours. . .And yet he seems to be entertaining the option. . .

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The tasting facilities at Vault Field Vineyards.

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Physically very impressive. This vineyard appears to be meticulously maintained. Couple notable things about this tasting:

1. The owner told us they are building a new home on the property and the existing structure will become the tasting room.

2. The dogs are very cute.

3. Purchased: A white called Conundrum. . .It's a blend of mystery whites.

4. Also purchased in copious amounts: Red and the espresso infused dark chocolates that are AMAZING with the wine.

I know very little about wine and I'm certainly not snooty about it. If it tastes good to me, I have no qualms about how much it costs, how it's packaged, or where it's from but EVEN I know this red/chocolate thing is pretty great.

http://www.vaultfield.com/index.html

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Yes. That is a gigantic stuffed catfish on top of a wine barrel. Yes. I find this hilarious for some reason. And no I didn't ask why it was there. I'm sure the answer is way more boring than what I've imagined.

At Belle Mount the crowd favorite wine seemed to be almost a picnic red called Workboat Red. The woman hosting the tasting raved about what a wonderful sangria you can make with it. The promise of sangria sealed the deal.

http://www.bellemount.com/

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I see a little too much of myself reflected in this sign!